This Is What Happens When Your Heart Breaks

(Re-submitted after a computer failure: Originally posted 8/12/09 11:32 pm)

This could be ugly.

I rage.

Inside and out I feel as though there is a crushing weight pressing in and there's nothing holding it up.

My body is hollow.

My heart beats so little now.

I will control this. This beast within me. This dark dark beast. It roars.

I knew for so long i was right, that others were right and that i should have left it.

I pushed it away, a slave to my own meaningless devices, my own sycophantic failures to face the truth that I love a person who can't, and will never love me back.

Its been nearly a year. I've poured more into this vat then I can say.

All that's left is the music and a canvas of silence to paint on.

The passion is all gone from me.

There. I am done.

The reality of this matter is my own failure. my own lack of judgement and control. I trusted for too long, with too much, knowing all the while it was folly.


I loved you so much.