Part of Life

"Grief"

There is nothing like the true sadness and the epitome of inner disruption known as grief.

Dealing with it can be the hardest thing people must do in their lives.

It is truly unimaginable to those who have not experienced it.

One can act somber at a funeral for a distant relative, and one can morn for the loss of an unknown teen in a car accident involving a drunk driver.

But quickly the incident floats from your mind. You go on living, and you soon assimilate it into your life, because loss, like anything else, is a part of life.

And you see those who were close to the ones lost. You see their tears, and you wonder, why do I not feel this way?

It is because what they feel is grief. Not just sadness.

Grief consumes you, like a mass of air pressing in and around you, until all you feel is an oppressive wave of nothing.

Emptiness is left. If that makes sense.

The emptiness, it feels, stems from the loss.

Whether it be trust, life, limb, or opportunity that is destroyed, the emptiness is apparent, and it does not go away easily.

Alone, in one's pain, so it seems, one stumbles through each day until sleep takes them, haunted by something that will not go away.

Cannot go away.

For all those who feel as the world feels, my deepest sympathies.

To me, Life is like a novel. It is long, sometimes incredibly boring, and full of love, loss, and conflict. However, it isn't over until the final page, on which always lies a happy ending.

Society's Love

"Love"

Of all the emotions created by humans in order to interpret and to channel feelings, Love is the most difficult, the most complicated, the most terrifying, the most beautiful, and the most powerful of them all.

There is no definition for the word, it cannot simply be defined. Its definition is relative.

One can define sadness, or hate, or joy, or anything else, but not love. For if you attempt to write it down, it changes on you.

Different people have tried to control it, or to bind it in words, and they have failed miserably.

One could say that a newly wed couple love each other more then anything else, and yet, either would be willing to kill to protect it. Or for it.

That is not love. That is selfish desire, or uncontrollable rage.

In my own short experiences, i have not found love, or maybe i have.

That is the true question; When do i know i am in love?

Some say, in the absence of a material explanation, that you "will know" when it happens to you. But i find this to be purely unhelpful.

I have experienced desire so great for something so unyielding over a long period of time, and thought it to be love. It certainly felt like society described it would. Deep, burning, and painful. I felt the "Will Know", but saying "I love her" caused me more pain and grief in rejection then anything else i had yet felt.

Looking back, it was not love, but desire that drove me; the kind of desire that makes you pour out your soul into something, only to have it broken and shattered into a million pieces when dropped and forgotten.

I have also experienced a relationship of powerful mutual affection, one that made me feel so happy, so full, and so complete that i could want nothing else. Again, the "will know" strikes.

Society says that one does not know love until one comes of age and matures.

What am I allowed to feel?

What do i do with this terrible, unrecognizable emotion held captive within me?

I cannot call it Love, God forbid! the L word appears to be a taboo on my life. Uttering it reverses all things good.

The word scares me.

Using it improperly in a serious situation spells emotional suicide for any human.

This is wrong.

The key is knowing when one is in love, but with no definition, one cannot know.

Therein lies the problem.

If there is no definition, no set principle, then society has NO control over what is proper.

Teenage "Love" could be interpreted as a sophomoric and passionate cry for understanding, and for action, or it could be a real feeling undiscovered and even forgotten by those who shape the world and its youth.
Adults.

We are all human, and we all act in similar ways.



Now that I have explained the problem, my take is simple. Go with your gut feeling. If you feel a "will know", do not let society tell you that you are wrong. How can others know your feelings based on their own?

We are all humans, but we are all different.

You know what love is. Do not be afraid of it.

Present

"Live in the present my friend"

The only way to argue this is with counter arguments.

One cannot live in the future, in order to do that one would simply sit and think ahead and never take action, causing a complete loop of the exact same thing.

One cannot live a majority of the time in the future as well, for if this was to happen, then one would be caught up in a systematic and logical order for things.

Life is like Chess, except more complicated. You can plan ahead, and plan ahead, and your opponent will always do something somewhere down the road that you didn't expect.

Unfortunately in life, its horribly impractical to think this way. Its not a game. There aren't any rules. and you have millions and billions of opponents.

It is too much for one person to try to comprehend. Leave the future alone.

As for the past, we have all heard it before; One cannot dwell on the past, and live well in the present.

Why is this though?

The truth again lies in thought power or brain capacity. (For lack of a better term).

If you waste all of it thinking about what happened and not about how to be better because of it, or how to fix it, or how to get over it, then you'll never get anywhere.

and even if you are trying to stay in limbo, thinking about stuff is kinda an oxymoron.

all in all.

you are best off living in the present.

making it up as you go along

just like anything you do, if you try too hard, you'll end up doing less.