When he woke up the movie, "Fantastic Mr. Fox" was playing. he stayed awake for it because it was so good. He noticed at the end of the movie that the producers had recorded most of their own music. He was impressed by that.
I know very little about France, just that the food is good. and that it was once occupied by Germany. and that French people don't much like English people, but that they hate American people more. They are indifferent to positive about Canadians.
Since the food is good, the cooking schools must be good too.
All I know about Thomas's time at cooking school was that he was happier than I had ever seen him. There was a romance. He met the love of his life. Her name Clair Lambert, that was how she spelled it at least. As relationships go, it burned like an inferno. She taught him French and how to ride horses, he taught her some English and cooked for her. She was secretly rich, and to her, Thomas was an escape.
One day she left him. Without warning. Three weeks later, She married a guy named Gaspard, who I am told is quite the man.
Thomas was utterly heartbroken and I felt awful about it, so I imagined up numerous gorgeous french women for him to sleep with.
Thomas taught me a lot about character when he refused to sleep with any of them.
He graduated eighth in his class of two hundred and fifty. Which is pretty respectable.
I could never finish eighth.
Upon further research of French Cooking Schools, I discovered that the one Thomas graduated from was the most prestigious in the world.
His loss of Clair and forced her to flee the country. Since Clair was the rich daughter of an ancient French family and Gaspard was named France's Sexiest Man Alive, their wedding made the news. Thomas had to leave. She was everywhere.
Thomas's plane ride home was uneventful. There was "mild turbulence" and the fish made everybody grow large red dots on their faces. Thomas didn't have the fish.
Also, on his personal turbulence scale, "mild" is only a 5, which he classifies as "dangerous if not wearing seatbelt; annoying". He wore his seat belt so his plane ride home was uneventful. Blah Blah Blah.
Thomas never told anybody about his personal turbulence scale on account that he felt that nobody in their right mind would have one.
What Clair didn't tell Thomas or Gaspard was that she was pregnant. The child, eerily named Thomas Jr. on the insistence of Clair, never knew his father or his mother. She died in childbirth.
Ironically, when Thomas attended her funeral, nobody put two and two together. Including him. Instead he felt honored and secretly that he must have been better than Gaspard.
Its ironic because such a humbling event made Thomas arrogant. Its also ironic that every person at the funeral was a smart person but none of them suspected a thing.
Thomas Jr. grew up to be kind of like the Sean Connery equivalent of real life. He kicked ass at everything.
Rumor has it he:
shook hands with Frank Sinatra and said it was nothing
blocked a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick of his own, and broke Chuck's leg.
has not only lived among bears, but they universally hail him as their ruler
completed the international space station, on schedule
already knew what an awkward moment felt like, without even trying one
reached level 487 in Nazi Zombies and is known in the world of online COD as simply "God".
single handedly resurrected Latin.
He was the best dancer to ever live.
People wrote books about his time on earth.
