Chapter 4

Since Katie had the ability to sing and play the guitar beautifully, and Fara was ever so talented, their band rose to fame quickly.

Well, relative fame.

Meaning they weren't famous at all.

And all the benefits of being famous were kind of limited.

They were extremely popular... at their school talent shows.

Fara got mad poon for his playing... But it was really slutty white girl poon, which wasn't his type. He had an std scare and it ruined his week. but that's another story.

Simon got free dro... but it was nearly always partially crab grass.

Steven had a secret admirer who remained secret and constantly creeped on him. He is a strong pacifist, but even he had to disable his facebook account.

Boys adored Katie... But they were all gay.

Not that gay people are bad fans... in fact, they tend to go way overboard, and its very nice for the performer. But Katie likes boys, and as a rule, the ones that like girls.

Not to stereotype or anything. I love gays.

Oops.

The longer I try to cover up my social discrepancies, the worse they get.

If this story was to be published, this whole chapter would be cut.

Sadly.

Simon was not smart. He disliked school quite a bit. He was also plagued by erectile dysfunction, a kind that could not be treated until he was fully grown.

Everyday he would submit these lines to FML, a popular website that displays completely fabricated snippets of life for the entertainment of millions of bored and insecure kids who like feeling better about their lives because they can read about someone who's life sucks more.

"My penis doesn't work. FML"

It never made it.

If you were Simon, you would toke up too.

As time went on, Simon grew far more dependent on Marijuana to make it through his abysmal days. Things got ugly when he discovered "that cali dank". He dropped off when cocaine entered his life.

Eventually he quit The Seismic Toss. Jarad quit too. Jarad followed Simon everywhere, and they often sang together in songs.

Katie thought about making a joke about Simon & Jarfunkle.

She realized it wasn't funny at all and didn't make the joke.

Simon dropped out of school. When he stole money from Katie to buy drugs, she broke up with him.

It broke his heart.

As an aside, he ended up in rehab... The story of his recovery over the next ten years is the stuff of legends.

He now tours the country warning against drug use.

Even though kids laugh at him for what he does, he leaves a lasting impression. He is a good man.

With the loss of Jarad and Simon, Katie's band changed their name to Cederstrom.

Steven didn't say anything about it.

Katie was related to the famous Swedish artist Gustaf Cederstrom. She thought it was a cool name.

So did Fariesh

So do I.